This New Life

Dear God,

Mr. _____'s oldest son, Harpo, be chasing me down licking me in the head with a rock. There be blood all over me. It be my wedding day too. Harpo's mammy died in his arms and he don't want no new one. Mr. ____ said to him don't do that. But that all he say and it did no help. His four kids put me to work. One of them girls hadn't had her hair comb since her mammy died. They cry and cry all day and curse murder pon me. They cry themselves to sleep. In bed that night, with my new husband, I think bout Shug Avery. I figure Shug was with him and probably liked what we was doing. I tried to enjoy it.

I couldnt believe it. I saw my Olivia today. The lady she was following was dressed real nice. When the lady talk she sweet too. I ast her my questions, and she be on her way. My babygirl is turning out to be real pretty. Her 7th birfday is coming up. The lady say in December, but I think it in November.

Nettie livin with us now. She couldn't stand being with pa no more. Didn't want to leave stepma but she know the boys will be fine. Nettie tryna git me to think. Git me to learn and know what be happening round the world. I try my best but I just too tired to be thinkin. It hurt me to think that she could end up with some one like Mr. _____. She deserve so much better than that. Nettie try to tell me to show them children who in charge. Tell me I got to fight. Mr. _____ must be upset that Nettie pay him no mind when he compliment her. She pass them on to me. He say to me we done all we can for Nettie and she best be gittin on her way. Say he don't care where she go. Nettie was happy to be leaving but not happy bout having to leave me. I didn't want her stayin here but God as my witness know I didn't wanna be way from her. Tell her to write me. She say only death can keep her from writing me. Notta single letter.

Carrie and Kate be the names of Mr. _____ sisters. They come to visit for some time. They tell me how Shug never clean and cook the way I do. They say Mr. _____ couldn't haven done betta if he tried. But I think of how he did try with other ones, like Shug. Kate came back a next time by herself. She got Mr. _____ to let us git a new dress for me. There was no purple dresses and Kate say he wouldn't pay for a red dress. Had a choice of brown, maroon, or navy blue. I like the blue the best. Wow. My own dress. Everything I ever wore was always somebody elses before. I tried to explain what it felt like to Kate. How could I ever thank her? She say I deserve betta. She try to talk to Mr. _____. Came back in tears and say something that reminded me of my sister, Nettie. You gotta fight them Kate say. Jus look where fighting got Nettie? Dead and gone.

Harpo say he fallen in love with a real spunky girl. He hasn't said a single word to her yet. But he assumes they gon get married. Much much later they finally talk. Harpo right. They intend to get married. Her parents didn't want Sofia gittin married and Mr. _____ ain't to crazy bout the idea either. Harpo got her pregnant. Now they have no choice but to get married. Just like they wanted.

While all that happened, Shug Avery came rollin through town to perform! I didn't git to see her. Real disappointed. But when I was helping Mr. _____ was gittin ready to see Shug, I say any women be proud to have him. He does alway look nice. He ast me you think so? He never ast me what I think before. It was nice. Shug and Mr. _____ spent the whole weekend together. Then she had to go and Mr. _____ came back real sad and low feeling. Made me and Harpo do more work. Harpo complain and don't have much skill. Remind me of this pa that way. Too bad too. If had as much will as he do muscle and height, he wouldn't let his daddy boss him like he boss me around. At least Harpo don't git beat like I do. And I git beat a lot. Hardly the children git that.

I help set up a shack by the lake for Harpo and Sofia. The shack is fixed up nice. Sofia is something else. The way she so strong and talk to Harpo with no beating.. She even got Harpo helping with the cleaning and taking care of the kids. She kinda like the man. Lets say we act very different. Harpo ast his pa and me how to make Sofia mind him, git her to do what he want. We both agreed, beat her. Too bad it went the other way around.